WHAT IS YOUR RELATIONSHIP STYLE?

CODEPENDENTS CAN BE TOO NEEDY OR BUILD WALLS

I love “The Language of Letting Go” Daily Devotionals for Codependents.  It’s been out for years and mine looks like it’s falling apart with some pages I have to keep stuffing back in! I can’t bring myself to buy a new one because this one has so many notes,dates and highlights through the years, I just can’t get rid of it! This is one of my very favorites that I wanted to share as I see this a lot in my work with codependents. Hope you enjoy and it speaks volumes to you also.

We can find the balance between needing people too much and not letting ourselves need anyone at all. Many of us have unmet dependency needs lingering from the past. While we want others to fulfill our desires to be loved unconditionally, we may have chosen people who cannot or will not be there for us. Some people are so needy from not being love that they drive people away by needing them to much and suck the life out of others.

Some go to the other extreme. Maybe you grew up where people were not there for you at all, so you keep people at a distance and push them away. Maybe you fight your feelings for needing others by becoming overly independent and isolate, not allowing yourself to need anyone. Some won’t let others be there for them at all and choose to not have close relationships. It feels safer to not be let down and hurt. These types will do things to  subconsciously sabotage when things get too close in a relationship. It doesn’t feel comfortable so they will create distance to feel safe.

Either way, we are living out unfinished business. We deserve better. When we change, our circumstances will change. If we are too needy, we address the issues of unmet needs from childhood and heal from the past of our needs not being met. We stop telling ourselves that we are unlovable because we haven’t been loved the way we deserved in the past.

If we have shut off the part of us who needs people and relationships to feel safe, we become willing to open up, take risks, be vulnerable, and let ourselves be loved and available. We let ourselves have needs.

We deserve to get the love we desire, but we must take the first step for change to allow that to happen. Today, strive for the balance between being too needy, and not allowing yourself to need people and close relationships. Let yourself receive the love that you deserve.  ~Melody Beattie

Love and Light,

Debbie Sherrick/Codependency Coach
WWW.INSIDEOUTWELLNESSCOACH.COM

1 Comment

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    Reply Reply August 24, 2015

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